Rebuilding myself and my relationships were the biggest motivators for me while attending inpatient treatment.
I had always considered myself to be a very responsible parent of 2 children. I managed my own finances and was always considered a valuable employee. I purchased a town home and I was a typical mom juggling work and supporting my kids in their schooling and sporting events. I never missed any of their activities.
I entered a 7-year relationship with a man and things went downhill very quickly. He had a very bad temper and I was beaten routinely. He broke several bones in my face and broke my ankle while pushing me down the stairs. He was mentally and verbally abusive. I began using cocaine, meth, and opioids daily to keep the peace and mask the pain I was facing.
I became completely dependent on him, the drugs, his manipulation and abuse. I was tired of lying to my family about the bruises and the fighting. I found the courage to move out.
My Mom provided a safe living environment for me and my kids. This allowed me to attend college classes, work and parent my children. However, my addiction was too strong at that point and I continued to use meth and opioids. I was selling drugs and started to shoplift to support my habit.
I lost everything I ever cared about because of heroin.
My dangerous lifestyle led to my first arrest for DUI. Several years later, I was arrested again. This time for shoplifting and drug paraphernalia. From the moment I was released from jail my cravings for drugs took over my ability to think about anything except for getting high.
After just 2 hours at my Mom’s house, I ran away to find a fix. I was on the run for 2 weeks, homeless and high. I met a man that introduced me to Heroin. I was hooked instantly. We used together every day. I was stealing $2,000 worth of goods each day to support both of our habits. After a rough day, I returned home to my Mom’s house. She was completely fed up and told me I was no longer welcome until I was ready to get the help I needed. She was very concerned about my children and we agreed that she would be the best caretaker for my son. My daughter’s father took over the primary caregiver role for her. I relinquished my parental rights. I lost everything I ever cared about because of heroin.
In mid-August of 2017, I was arrested under the Rio Grande sweep for dozens of traffic violations and warrants for shoplifting. At the time of my arrest the officers educated me on the opportunities for treatment. I would have never been given that opportunity to participate in a county funded drug program had it not been for the Rio Grande Program.
Rebuilding myself and my relationships were the biggest motivators for me while attending inpatient treatment. After 4 months of inpatient treatment and facing the transition to outpatient, I began to panic. I knew I needed extra support to succeed. I had the option to return home to my Mom’s or to trust in the system and the sober living arrangements that the Operation Rio Grande Drug Court would provide for me.
I have been sober for 163 days. My treatment allowed me to recognize the harmful and destructive pain that I inflicted upon those that I love the most. I am currently attending outpatient therapy and working with my employment counselor from DWS to find a job. I am so grateful for this program and people like Mayor McAdams and his willingness to find solutions rather than punishments for people that find themselves in my situation. I don’t know what I would have done without my family’s continued support, especially my Mom and my son. I am looking forward to the day that I can reunite with my daughter and begin to rebuild our relationship.
Next Level Recovery and Salt Lake County made arrangements for me to move into a women’s sober living house. The structured environment provides me with the accountability and safety that I need right now. I know that I would not have succeeded without it. Women empower women here. I feel loved and supported by people who relate to me without judgement. I look forward to coming home and staying home. I love telling my family that I am safe and sober each day. It is a huge motivator for me.
I have a safe and structured sober living home to live in while I rebuild my self-confidence, my relationships and my life. I would not choose to live anywhere else right now. Living here is helping me to become a responsible adult again. It’s brought back balance, stability, structure, and support to my life. It’s expanded my support system and helped me to feel normal again. I feel loved and supported. I know I am worth it!
I am safe, I am happy…..I am Destiny!
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